Joy Mandel
A New Yorker living in the UK
Style of Working
My approach is integrative, relational and largely systemic, drawing on many years of advanced training and clinical experience working with couples and individuals.
A central influence in my work is Relational Life Institute’s Relational Life Therapy (RLT), developed by Terry Real. RLT is a direct, compassionate and highly effective approach that helps people move beyond blame, defensiveness and painful repetitive patterns towards deeper connection, accountability and intimacy. It combines practical relationship skills with emotional depth, helping couples create relationships that are both more loving and more honest.
An important part of RLT involves recognising and working with the ‘adaptive child’ — the younger part of ourselves that developed protective strategies in response to earlier relational experiences. Therapy helps clients develop compassion for these adaptations, while also learning healthier boundaries, greater emotional regulation and the relational mindfulness of the ‘wise adult’ part of the self. This can support people to respond to one another in ways that are more connected, authentic and constructive.
Alongside RLT, I draw on training in systemic and humanistic psychotherapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness-based approaches and psychosexual therapy. My work is attachment-informed and grounded in an understanding of how early relational experiences can shape the ways we connect, protect ourselves and communicate in adult relationships.
While talking together is at the heart of therapy, I sometimes incorporate creative and experiential techniques — including imagery, objects and visual exercises — to help clients move beyond habitual narratives and access deeper emotional understanding and insight.
I also believe that warmth, humanity and a well-developed sense of humour can be an important part of meaningful therapeutic work.
Training & qualifications
I am a COSRT Senior Accredited Relationship and Psychosexual Therapist, and a Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT).
I have been extensively trained in the field of relationships, sexuality and couple dynamics, and have worked for many years with both couples and individuals exploring emotional, relational and sexual difficulties.
My core approach is integrative and systemic, informed by training in:
- Relational Life Therapy (RLT)
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Humanistic and systemic psychotherapy
- Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- Mindfulness-based approaches
- Psychosexual therapy
I originally grew up in Brooklyn and have lived in the UK since 1985. I earned an M.Ed. from Florida Atlantic University before undertaking professional relationship therapy training in the UK at the Relate Institute, becoming a Relate-trained practitioner.
I later completed specialist training in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy at Regent’s University London, earning the London Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Counselling.
I also completed advanced training in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Sue Johnson, founder of EFT.
Alongside my private practice, I worked for many years as an experienced accredited counsellor with Relate West Kent.
Professional Memberships
- Senior Accredited Member, College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists
- Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT), Relational Life Institute